apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
