i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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