wat bout pragnant strippers??
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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