I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
