Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
