The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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