Do you still have your period?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
