sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
