she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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