Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
