Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
