Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
