i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
