You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
