did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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