Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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