My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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