Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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