I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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