Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
