Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
