Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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