Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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