11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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