We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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