It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
