For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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