yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
