She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
