MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize