weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
