I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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