At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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