thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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