I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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