I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
