So drunk its hurt
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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