PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize