i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
