OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize