I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
