fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
