you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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