You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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