whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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