I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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