so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
handjob tips. give me some.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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