I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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