i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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