my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
