What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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