i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
