Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
