Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
