He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Text me some of your sweat
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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