I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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