new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
