they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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