but the lizard people decide everything anyway
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
