i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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